Nov252024
Words of WonderA Necessary Autumn Inside Each - Rumi

You and I have spoken all these words,
but as for the way we have to go,
words are no preparation.
There is no getting ready, other than grace….
Inside each of us, there’s continual autumn.
Our leaves fall and are blown out over the water.
A crow sits in the blackened limbs
and talks about what’s gone….
There’s a necessary dying,
and then Jesus is breathing again.
Very little grows on jagged rock.
Be ground. Be crumbled, so wildflowers
will come up where you are.
You’ve been stony for too many years.
Try something different.
Surrender.

Rumi, as interpreted by Coleman Barks

 

When I read the above poem (an excerpt from the full poem, one of the ecstatic poems collected in The Soul of Rumi) I recognise truth. It brings a soft heartbreak, a kind of love-based melancholy. It also brings fear of the potential devastation of crumbling. And then there’s also a longing to surrender that feels inviting.

If I follow the possibility of surrender there’s a delicious relief – a ‘Thank goodness!’ and a big sigh. There’s so much effort involved in assuming all this personal control. For me the jagged rock is a perfect description of the way my body feels in this maintenance of personal control. It’s as if I’m saying ‘I will personally hold back the continual Autumn’ on a moment-by-moment basis!

My struggle against the reality of life’s tragedies small and large could be given up. This often feels impossible, and yes, it’s sometimes possible. But crucially, I need to trust that it’s worth it.

Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer says of surrender:

Oh surrender!
It’s the surest medicine that exists.
There are infinite side effects.
Wonder. Freedom. Rawness.

I imagine a little wildflower of wonder, and one of freedom and one of rawness pushing up amongst the rubble of my broken-down control tower. When we let the truth be so, little blessings do push up from the devastation, each a poignant affirmation. Mindfulness practice invites us to trust and to gradually face the reality of how little control we actually have. It’s a long journey for most of us, but the little affirmations can bring the encouragement we need.

Have you noticed the little affirmations in your own practice? Can they become your motivation to practice surrendering to what is?

Fay Adams

PS. Join our Level 1 Being Present training to begin your journey into life’s truths. Find out more here.

Photo by Tyler Mower on Unsplash

Author: Fay Adams

Fay Adams trained to teach mindfulness under the guidance of well-known teacher Rob Nairn, whilst living on the Holy Isle retreat island off the west coast of Scotland. She now teaches courses and retreats in mindfulness, compassion, insight and engaged mindfulness around the UK with the Mindfulness Association and she is a tutor on the University of Aberdeen's Studies in Mindfulness MSc. Fay is a dedicated meditation practitioner of 15 years. Fay was originally drawn to mindfulness in her twenties because of her chronic pain. Throughout her 6 years of living on Holy Isle in a small meditation hut, she immersed herself in discovering what the pain was all about. In the process she began to find a new way to inhabit mind, body and community. Ultimately, as well as (mostly) freeing her from the pain, this has become a deeply rich basis for living life fully. Her practice was formed and matured within a Tibetan Buddhist context. More recently it has been influenced by Reggie Ray's somatic practice and is now also coached in a love of nature and the Earth and she finds that deep ecology, as taught by Joanna Macy and others, is a path towards wisdom. Fay now lives on the Staffordshire/Cheshire border with her partner and son.