I have been working part time in the NHS as a healthcare chaplain since September 2022, when I was offered a training placement as part of my Post Graduate Diploma course in Chaplaincy and Pastoral Care. After the placement I was able to get a job as a healthcare chaplain in the NHS.
My mindfulness and compassion training have supported me in this work from the start.
They say that chaplaincy is a practice of presence, and my mindfulness practice enabled me to simply be fully with patients, at some of the most challenging times of their life. To listen deeply to them and gently guide the conversation, without imposing my views, in supporting them to find hope or faith to guide them through their darkest moments.
My compassion training has prepared me to open to the difficulty of the patients I speak with, without becoming overwhelmed, and to have the resources to respond with compassion, founded in a deep wish to relieve their suffering. It enables me to simply open to what is without needing to rescue or fix the people I speak with.
Much of my work is with Christian patients and I am a Buddhist. Supporting patients whose faith or belief is different to mine was a big focus of my studies and has been a big part of my work as a chaplain.
I spend a lot of time praying with Christians and my sense is that when Christians pray, they connect with the same thing that I connect with when I pray. They might call it God, Christ or the Holy Spirit, while I call it Buddha nature, but it feels the same to me. I have also been inspired by the work of the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu in bringing Buddhism and Christianity together, as described as described in The Book of Joy.
In Tibetan Buddhism we have many Bodhisattvas, who are awakened beings who work endlessly to relieve the suffering of all sentient beings. Bodhisattvas can be human beings, such as the Buddha or the Dalai Lama or they can be Deities, such as Chenrezig or Tara. My teachers have often given the option of visualising Christ above one’s head, as a Christian alternative to Chenrezig. Therefore, I consider Christ as a Bodhisattva and I include him in my prayers at the start of my practice, along with Buddhist figures. Through this process I feel that I have developed an authentic connection with Christ as a Bodhisattva.
So, working as a healthcare chaplain has changed my theology and I now feel very comfortable praying authentically with Christians. Most of the patients I pray with feel the same way and find hope in people of different religions praying together. A very few Christians I have met are not comfortable with this and make sure I have informed consent.
Many of my conversations with patients are purely pastoral. However, when our conversations move in the direction of faith or belief I say that I am a Buddhist chaplain, because most patients simply assume that, as a chaplain, I am bound to be a Christian. This is generally greeted with interest, sometimes with enthusiasm and often with a statement such as ‘Well it’s all the same anyway isn’t it”, which in general I am inclined to agree with.
When working with patients who have a faith or belief, I see my role as facilitating them in connecting with their religious or spiritual practice. It is about supporting them and not about me or my beliefs, so long as I can stay authentic to myself, which I generally can. I see how much hope and solace comes from connecting people with their faith and it is a privilege to be able to do this.
When people are dying, I feel privileged to be able to sit alongside them, to speak with them and with their families, in the hope of creating the conditions for a more peaceful death.
When I speak to the family of someone who is dying, there are a few things that I ask. Is there anything they want or need to say? Are there any regrets that can be resolved? Can they reassure the dying person about any worries they may have about those who are left behind? Can they support the dying person in letting go? Often when people lose consciousness, they can still hear and so speaking words of love and gentle reassurance can soothe the dying person.
Families often don’t want their loved one to die alone. However, dying people sometimes prefer to die alone. Therefore, and I advise families to give the dying person some time on their own from time to time.
Although, this work isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I really love the work I do. I am amazed by the grace, courage and kindness of the patients I work with. Human beings are amazing and our hospitals, despite the NHS’s problems, are filled with love and kindness. The love the patients and families have for each other. The kindness of the staff. This is what I experience most of all.
Sometimes death comes at the end of a long life, lived well, sometimes it comes as a surprise or at the end of a life filled with regret or resentment. We never know when death will come to us, but we can prepare. How ready are you for your own death and for supporting those that you love to die well? It is an important question for us all, as we will all die, just as every human who ever lived has died.
Heather teaches with Jacky Seery on the Living Well to Die Well course. You can find more information about this course here https://www.mindfulnessassociation.net/course/living-well-to-die-well/