You know
so very well
the edge
of darkness
you have
always
carried with you.
And you know
too well
by now
the body’s
hesitation
at the invitation
to undo
everything
others seemed
to want to
make you learn.
But your edge
of darkness
has always
made
its own definition
secretly
as an edge of light
and the door
you closed
might,
by its very nature
be
one just waiting
to be leant against
and opened.
And happiness
might just
be a single step away,
on the other side
of that next
unhelpful
and undeserving
thought.
Your way home,
understood now,
not as an achievement,
but as a giving up,
a blessed undoing,
an arrival
in the body
and a full rest
in the give
and take
of the breath.
This living
breathing body
always waiting
to greet you
at the door,
always
no matter
the long years
you’ve been
away,
still
wanting you
to come home.
by David Whyte
Well, here we have a poem to inspire meditation if ever I found one. This verse bears repeating:
Your way home,
understood now,
not as an achievement,
but as a giving up,
a blessed undoing…
Practice is the refuge to which we can take our ‘edge of darkness.’ In the sanctuary of practice the parts of us we turn away from can find welcome (sometimes!). In the rhythmic breathing of mindful presence the darkness can, over and over be blessedly undone. The dear body, who has the extraordinary patience and loyalty to always, after everything, still want and wait for our return, might celebrate this arrival with warm easing and opening sensations.
The ‘edge of darkness’ in the early verses is spoken of by David Whyte with a gentle and redemptive acceptance. I love the idea that an edge of darkness is, by definition, also an edge of light.
The great paradox of practice though is that if now, on reading this, you set to with the blessed undoing in mind and turn it into a goal or measure of success, then you’ve coopted the gift that can only be received, the blessing that cannot be pursued, only bestowed. Watch for under the radar inner missions to manufacture or hunt out a good meditation. So, next time you sit how can you form an intention which undoes the aim to do the blessed undoing and instead surrenders to the flow of now?
One of my meditation teachers once said ‘How can you fall in love with your practice?’ I find joy in allowing myself to ask this question and for me this poem provides an answer.
Ps. If you’d like a weekly immersion in the experience of receiving the wisdom of poetry into meditation practice check out our six week Mindfulness meets Mystical Poetry online course beginning in May.
Photo by Gabriella Clare Marino on Unsplash